Lousy holidays without her

So...that's the way it is, for those that read before and are familiar and those who aren't- that's the way it is....I love her, and she is in love with me and I'm not afraid to say it, but we have some barriers, as she's is my psychoterapist and she has a long-distance boyfriend so everything is so fucking complicated and we can't just be together like sane, normal people. No, so I wrote her a message for Christmas: "Merry Christmas gorgeous", she replied and wished me too. I know when there is some chemistry between us, you know when you just knooooow? you know, your heart knows, and your body knows for 100% that there's something between you. Yet, it's awkward to say cause, she's a therapist, but I'm gonna say it to her now. I'M MAD AS HELL AND I'M NOT GONNA TAKE IT ANYYYMOOORE. Hehe, you know that movie? :) anyhow, yeah, that's how I feel so I need to say it to her. Don't know how, well, got a few ideas but I'm gonna tell her, next time I see her, in 10 days that I like her and that I have feelings for her, strong feelings. She can feel it too as an empath, I'm positive. Of course I gotta be the one who's gonna say it first cause she is a therapist and she mustn't, but I can, and I will.......:D

Aand it's on and I'm ready for it!!!!

Hey yo guys & girls and you teens and you 50 year olds, how is it going?? good? pretty good? pretty pretty good? ok, just good. I see. Well, I've been FABULOUS. I gotta tell you a secret, the girl that I'm in love with, well, I believe she loves me back. I can't explain you this feeling. Ok, I can try: it's really, really good and really really bad on the other side. It's like being 250% in love, 280% in love approx. and at the same time feeling the guilt that it's somebody else's girlfriend...FOR NOW...:D Yes, that's it. I'm happy because I have such a great progress with her. I can feel our love blossoming and growing day by day. Today, she needed me for a gathering with psychologists and psychiatrist where I talk about myself and my life's decisions in front of 6 people and her, while she's the psychiatrist. This was like an exam for her to pass the psychiatry school she's taking. I NAILED IT!! NAILED IT!! The people there are great and positive and they were really delighted with me. And she was too. I know it. So now we are exchanging texts, and every time it's more and more personal and deeper and on an intimate level. Which I looooove. I hate being on a business level with her. HATE IT. So now, we're coming back to normal let's say. And I love it, I just love it. Heaven knows what tomorrow will bring. Don't know when was the last time I felt so God damn good!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hope you're feeling good too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yooooohoooooooooooooooo
Peace my bastards
Love you all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) :) :) :) :) :) : ) :)))))))

Now this is true love :D

Ok, so how ya all doin? -Fine, tnx for asking. Well, I got to tell you an interesting love story. Today, while I was walking along on a rainy evening I passed by a jail. yeah, a real jail. scary, right? I thought so too. Then, I stopped for a second and saw a woman there, in front of jail. I looked her closely and I saw how she is waving at the jail. There was a man in there, yeah, you know it. And he was returning the kisses. So, there they were, waving and sending each other kisses and my heart almost melted. I couldn't breathe for a few seconds. It must be overwhelming. Loving someone so much that nothing can separate you. No, surely not some imaginary walls the system built for those "loosers" that don't have enough money to get a lawyer to get their ass out of jail while the real criminals are outside, waving with money and playing with us. NO! That's what they said. Sure that won't stop us. Not now or never.

So....it really was emotional to see such a scene, and it still is. So, I was thinking, as I have to wait for at least two months to fininsh the sessions with my psychoterapist that I fell in love with and can't live without...I was thinking that maybe my love isn't so bad...I mean it could be worse, I could be in jail or in another country and not be able to see her. That's bullshit! And much harder. Now, if there aren't "WALLS" to true love I should appreciate that I even have it (even though it's not perfect right now) but we have to wait, only time will tell. I mean we've fell in love! It's a big love, not only from my side...I can feel her warmth. Like she is here, but she isn't....yet. So we both decided to wait, and then I hope she will break up with her stupid boyfriend and end up with me. THE END. hahahaha :D

Love you all! Hugs and kisses!!!! :)))

Stay warm :))))))))) <3

I'm staying!!!!!!! Not going anywhere

Sooooo...the decision finally came. And it wasn't actually decision. A recognition accured inside... I'm not going to London! Not for now (or ever :D) heheh yes, just like that! I realized that 'London' was that ideal place in my head where there were no worries and it is ideal for me and my carrier and my life- BUT I REALIZED- NO, that's not it. I want to stay here and promote stand up comedy. Work on building myself as a comedian and then the whole comedy scene in the country. Yes, that's it. I can finally feel it. That's what I want a 10000000%. London was merely an illusion in my head. A place with no problems and no worries. Actually, it was an illusion of a better tommorrow. And it doesn't really exist. Not the way I pictured it! It doesn't exist! It was an illusion. My 'London', my dream life is right here, I need to create it, anyway I can. Through all the pain and tough roads, and if there aren't any roads, I need to build them, with my team of people- that also don't exist, but will appear, I know it in my heart. This is what I came here to do and I'm ready for it! :D :D 2x2=4 finally I get it. It's all clear in my head now. Just need to put some words into action and bzzzzzzzt- that's it!!!!!!

Good luck to you all on building new roads on your way to....who knows where....above us sky.

Keep quiet people. I salute you all!

Sweet dreams, :)

Peace & love :)

Stay united and awesome just the way you are

She came in through the bathroom window...

That's a name of a Beatles song, ya know?? :D But, yeah, we went to that theatre play that we arranged. She brought her cousins. We had a nice time. Hehe. It's all going in a smoothe, nice direction I'd say. Things are boling more and more between me and her...and I love it. And she does too. It's like that beautiful soulfull connection that makes my spirit come alive. It's amazing! We have to wait now. Sorry, but yeah, that's the procedure. We exchanged some beautiful texts saying how great the other person is and showing each other support and from now on, it's not on us anymore. We'll let the Universe do it's work. The Universe knows if it's worth it or better not. It's not up to me to manage the Universe, as Mooji said. Keep quiet and let things unfold in front of your eyes. That's my motto now

Keep quiet and love you all!!! :))))))



Be good or be bad. Be silly instead.
Do whatever. Just be happy

She was here again!!

Ok, so today I asked her: would you like to live anywhere but in Croatia, maybe London, NY, Paris? And she said that she would like to live in London also, because of the many cultures and the energy or so on. OMG I can't believe she said that. I'm so happy! :) Do you know what that means?? We both have the same dreams!!! Yoohooo!!!!! And she was so nice, and calm yet excited to see me. We are finally going to that theatre play this Monday. Can't wait to go. And she can't either. Oh then, just when I get excited, there's him in my head, asking me: what are you so excited about. "Him" being her boyfriend. That son of a bitch. But, it had to be that way, the Universe wanted it to happen, if it didn't we wouldn't meet on that such unusual place in such an unusual time, it's like that song that says: "the biggest things in your life are the things that never cross your worried mind, that leave you blindsized on 4 pm on some idle Tuesday." That's exactly how it was! She left me speechless, and she still does, every time she enters the room. It's like being in a 7 star hotel when I'm with her. The whole Universe stops, everybody stops, I believe fishes don't swimm and birds don't fly and I just sit there and look at her and think to myself: my God, what a gorgeous, beautiful, and amazingly smart innocent woman that is. What attracts me to her so much. I don't know...how about everything??! E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G. Everything. Believe me

Falling in love is magical

It's all ok untill you loose your mind. I tell you. Whole life seems ideal, everything is so simple, rational, clearly thinkable with your mind but no. Your heart says "no". And from there on, a completely different story. Falling in love, that crazy story.  We're so crazy, madly in love and only thing holding us back is her boyfriend. But, it doesn't matter. What needs to happen, will find it's way through. Be like a bamboo, said Bruce Lee. hehe :D But, it's fine. It's fine just the way it is. And it's moving. I can feel it. Slowly but surely. We have a slow pace, a slow tempo that suits both of us right now. I surely don't wanna be rushing in while she is still with someone else, and I'm an introvert, I love taking things slow, really slow. So the tempo is fine for me. But the magic, oh the magic is there and I can feel the vibe with every atom of my body. I won't lie to you. Every time she walks in, hugs me, when we spend time together it's like a crazy wind blowing in through my feet, through my whole body, right to my heart, where it meets hers. That is where the magic is happening, the last three weeks more than ever before. It's like we've met each other more and that's why we're even closer to each other. She must be some kind of magical woman, from some other planet, just like I feel I am sometimes- from some outer galaxy :D :D

That's it for now,

Keep quiet :D

I salute you with all my heart